I HOPE i still can believe that love is beautiful

Life is pretty awful. Especially when you lose your direction n your mind is whirled with thosand and one shit stuffs. Seriously i hate people that treat me nice one moment and before you know it, they chose to walk out of your life. Thanks.

Well? awful life. yes but i am trying hard to live everyday with smiles n laughter. They aint fake, but its just hard to bring them out despite the overwhelming sadness within me. Thats why im super tempremental, you scold me a little and ya see falling tears from my eyes. argh hate this vulnerable me. Like totally.

Home on sunday. Good girl yea. haha gotta assure my heart n feelings at a better state for a new tomorrow. a begining of real work life. Capricons are career-minded people and yes i am so prepared to do well for this internship job.

Concentrate on work work work. Thats all im gonna work hard for the next 4 months

Bye Night-life, Bye to you. im sick of everything

Because i knew no matter what, we'll still part

Because i knew im not the one

lost love

That's all we have for each other

SMALL LITTLE THINGS THAT MELT THE HEART & OTHER LITTLE THINGS THAT BREAK THE HEART.

Often people can choose to make a little effort to just do a little thing to touched one's heart while on the other hand, some people will unknowingly made a small little action that instantly shows the selfish-ness and uncaring attitude.

This contrast is when how much the person means to you that will make you spare more than just little efforts to show you love and care for the other party.

But look. the fact is many people are selfish these days.

If you never did try, you will never know how hard and pain it is.

WHEN YOU DONT REALLY KNOW YOURSELF.

when you don't have a real self identity.

you can't convince others if you don't believe it yourself.

so much of being a pessimist. sucks totally.

Been bothered by the same old thing. haunting me. giving me those scary thoughts.

Everybody in life may have done a regrettable mistake, an unforgivable one, one that cause a nightmare to the rest of his/her life. and it is one deepest darkest secret that will not be said and hoping it will never be discovered.

how scary? it happened.

I Hope this time i will be right.

but actually there isn't any right or wrong to begin with

It's a Habit or i just Can't Live Without?

it puzzles me and i do wonder.

YOU R NOT IMPORTANT.

i should know what is good and bad for such situation like this now.

if this is want i really want i should really just care less of certain people who just don't have the position to jeopardize my emotions and everything.

Cause it's you that i care.

that's all.

Seriously (ABC 123 !?!), i thought you shouldn't really exist

I Don't See Any Light In This Pitch Darkness

All i simply yearn for is support and encouragement,

cause they are the most important ones in my life,

not discrimination and attitudes,

no matter what any outcomes will be like,

a close one will never give up showing care & concern

But i guess out of 10, i lose all 9 =(

Even when i fall hard again,

Will you say...

serve you right or i'll always be there to catch you when you fall

i guess i don't deserve the second statement

BLANK.
don't know what to type.
if things could be easily simplified

If time can freeze

if only time can freeze then i hope it stop at that particular moment.

if i could turn back time, i wish i handle things the better way. but it is kind of impossible.

Staying close will just make letting go even tougher

I don't believe in gaining something at the expense of someone's happiness. Don't you feel guilt-ridden and insecure about holding something that doesn't meant for you in the first place.But in this reality world. it's about how you portray your capabilities and tactics to get what you want. thus, nothing belongs to you until you really get it in hand and hold it tight, cause you never know when it will be gone when you lose grip.

But fighting isn't my style, cause i dont believe in feeling happier to fight for the things you want. Fighting i mean, trying means and ways to just get it, even when losing your principles and pride is a kind of "investment". i believe in putting my utmost best and use 101% to work hard for it. for example, if i set it hard that my career will be this way, i will use my heart and effort to work it through and not scheming tactics or hypocritical ways to get what i want. Sometimes proving so hard you already gain what you want is just an empty shell.

i hate this distances, cause i treasure our friendships.

i should learn to forsake some

Greed is always the plight

CEASED TO EXIST

if only i can change what had happened and wish some people never existed or i myself can disappear from this, now and immediately. Don't really know what's going on for so long. leading my life aimlessly and soon i think i lost my true self. what am i doin and what am i seeking. the more i wish to make myself happier, at the end of the day, i feel even more unhappy and upset. maybe i shouldn't be like this anymore. stubborness is just getting in my way but when the time is soon to come, i probably can.

Today is the day i owe someone a promise that i should fulfill. but i guess i have not been trying hard enough so can i request for an extended deadline?

Data entry job ends today, hmmm... losing one source of income, should i continue another job?
at least working will allow me to escape and feel busy. but for only that short while.

Got my results today. i think i screwed my poly life semester after semester. this time my gpa dropped slightly again. it is a disappointment to myself. i could have done better. But this semester was really a tough one for me. i tried so hard to concentrate and work it through all odds. really, it's painful and teadious. i almost breakdown at some point during that period.

When you know it is impossible, don't try hoping for some possibilities to come out of it.
cause it will never happen.

CHEAT

i seriously sympathize Jack Neo's wife situation, not only that she has been cheated by a bastard husband but she has to take in all the shits of media attention and pressure from the public just because she is a comedian and a well-known man's wife. Worst of all, she has to claim that she is perfectly cool with it, whether is it genuinely or out of an act to say she accept and forgive everything her husband has done. this is so magnanimous of her. How many women can actually accept his husband to cheat one after another and knowing it but keeping it all to herself. this is just so... .... sigh

she is admirable but at the same time stupid. haha. but actually there are many stupid women around to believe such guys who cheat. Cause cheater have their ways to make their wife believe their lies. Cheating seems like a trend now. every guy/girl is doing it in a relationship. it's no longer about being faithful to one cause every one have the tendency to cheat when you have the opportunities and qualities.

If you look good or you are rich enough, with the status and the attraction, will anyone resist to temptations and for the moment you will realize you neglect the responsibility you had to another individual. Forsaking a special and true one for something that is so temporary.

is it worth it?

Cause human will never be satisfied for one, especially when you think you are capable to find a better one or someone to satisfy your pleasure. this is sick. totally.

if only you dint exist,

it will not destroy a happiness

but cause of your presence,

make that love seems so vulnerable & worthless

COMES & GO COMES & GO COMES & GO...
it's getting pretty irritating.

When it will just STAY or simply LEAVE for good

TRUELY MADLY DEEPLY




when you try so hard to make what you wish and hopes to come true and or make it work out but eventually you stll lose to no one else but your own determination. when your emotions took control of everything. you realise you can only give up and let the unbroken connection stay.


have been slogging and working but i dont see $$$ coming in yet
this is so upsetting.
cause i have freaking broke.
i dont have money for food today lol

i hope my GPA wont drop!!!!! *prays*

P.S. I AM NOT IN A R/S with anybody HAHAHAHA

I AM SO ANGELIC TODAY (=

i really like my third job as i worked with a very nice girl sherry!

nice weekend job!

promoting citigems as a angel model!! HAHA

okay angel just don't suit me. but kids love me today!

i am just so workaholic now!

If there's a choice to make, i would rather be a devil in reality

angels are just too nice to get bullied

i don't want to be nice

IT REVOLVES ALL ABOUT WORKING

DAY & NIGHT

i feel tired...

i am just busy working & working.

i feel my body is breaking down, but i think it is my inner self that couldn't hold any longer.